an epic win

Francis Bruce's birth was an epic win. epic. EP-IC. the night he was born I felt amazing. and nope, no epidural to be found. here's the story.

Sunday night, Mother's Day night, I'd felt...different. just off, a little crabby (ok a lot crabby), tired, and heavy. just plain done. Charlie and I had gotten into it the week before, and we still weren't completely through it, and Lydia had gotten on my last nerve...it was just one of those weeks I'd just as soon try to forget. my friend Brynn was staying with us, which brought much joy to me because I was very happy to have her company and that she'd be helping us out with baby's birth. so when I went to bed Sunday night, I tried to focus on the positive and ready myself to bring baby into a little happier of a home. I spent a little time with the breast pump that night just to see if anything happened, but all that came of it was a drop of colostrum and a wasted 15 minutes...or so I thought.

when my water broke Monday morning at quarter to six I was flabbergasted, and instantly became the happiest woman in the world. gone were the annoyances with my husband and daughter, gone were the stresses of the week past. I hopped out of bed, ran into the bathroom, and giggled as I felt baby shift. to be honest I smelled the amniotic fluid and became teary--it smelled like new baby, and I knew that very soon we'd meet the little one I'd carried so well and healthfully. after a nice long shower we had a powerhouse breakfast of farm fresh eggs with cheese, toast, and fruit salad, then left Lydia with my mom and headed down to Luverne. I want to remember Charlie hurrying me along--he was remembering how fast my labor with Lydia went after they broke my water, but I reminded him that going from 0-10 is more of a process than a 9 to 10...and at this point I hadn't had more than a few contractions after my water broke earlier that morning! we reminisced and laughed on our way down to Luverne as the rain started to fall...it would turn out to be chilly, breezy, and drizzly all day.

because I tested positive for GBS, we opted to labor longer at the hospital and receive the recommended dosage of antibiotics, which was a dose every 4 hours, intravenously, for 15 minutes at a time until baby was born. knowing the statistics and risks involved with refusing them, it was a no-brainer, and at no point in my labor did I feel offended by the heplock in my wrist for easy access. there weren't any limitations on laboring, which was wonderful. when we arrived at the hospital they checked me in, hooked me up, checked me, and I think I was between a 2-3. we had the nurse bring in the birth ball, got out the essential oils and rebozo, and got to work! Brynn made fun of, I mean, motivated Charlie and I throughout some different movements with the birth ball and rebozo, and the mood remained light and happy throughout the morning.

however, the contractions became more steady and painful as we moved into the afternoon, so we switched to walking when the more passive earlier work of massage, bouncing on the ball, and squats with the rebozo just wasn't cutting it anymore. we walked. and walked. and walked, darn near putting on eight miles that afternoon (I later joked that my hammies hurt worse than my bottom!). we walked outside and inside, in the healing garden and down the halls, the contractions getting stronger and stronger. I remember just powering through them, breathing through them, and using the walking as a means to count steps and get through the surges. Brynn and Charlie walked with me, carrying my water and offering massive motivation and conversation when the time between contractions allowed. I was staying super hydrated thanks to the efforts of my husband and bestie, and every time I went to the bathroom I'd have a titanic contraction, moving baby closer and closer to us!

when we stopped walking around 5ish to get checked, have another dose of antibiotics, and have some fetal monitoring, they couldn't read my contractions as well or find his heartbeat as consistently (nothing was wrong, he'd just moved in a way that prevented our hearing him) so we decided to get into bed so I could rest and position myself well to hear how he was doing. I was nervous that the progress that I'd worked so hard for that day would stall out with getting into bed, but we were surprised and happy to find that I dilated just fine without beating laps around the hospital! hot dog! I should mention that throughout the day I felt so clear and in control, and fearless. just fearless. I had faith, my lover, my best friend, and an awesome hospital team rallying with me...it was feeling like a blessed day despite the pain. I heard everything, saw everything, and never once panicked. it was like night and day compared to Lydia's birth!

I progressed nicely through the evening. the contractions became stronger and closer together, my hands gripped Charlie's a little tighter, and the pain became all-consuming but manageable at the same time. I still felt in control, and mindful of everything going on in my body and around me. I remember Charlie encouraging me to take deep breaths--he was watching the fetal monitor and saw how my holding my breath in some contractions was affecting baby. I remember the nurses having me turn on my side to remove one lip on my cervix, then the other. I remember those being the most painful moments of labor, becoming fully dilated and ready to push.  I remember accidentally shrieking during a couple of contractions (I truly was doing well at just moaning or exhaling loudly through them) and a reassuring rub on my thigh from a sweet nurse. and I laughed when Dr. Crabtree, at 10:45pm, said, "Let's see where we're at around 11:30" when the nurses asked him about my next dose of antibiotics. I thought to myself, there was no way in hell I was still going to be pregnant at 11:30! A few minutes later I was pronounced fully dilated and ready to push!

Dr. Crabtree readied the room with the nurses and coached me on pushing--the first couple didn't do much, so we repositioned surprisingly so I was laid back a little bit further. I remember the room suddenly filling with people: other nurses and staff, my mom, Brynn, Charlie...it was a little blurry at that point but when we started pushing again, I became so clear. I heard Dr. Crabtree say after my second set, "Let's have a baby, Katie! Come on!", and I gritted my teeth, and pushed through another set. The room just buzzed and I heard a few people say, "Katie, reach down! Reach down!" I took my hand off the squat bar long enough to reach down and feel a slippery, warm, fuzzy head exiting my body--I began to cry, bore down, and gave birth to our son at 11:00 on the nose after just a few minutes of pushing. Dr. Crabtree said, "You have a good looking boy here, guys!" and immediately placed Francis on my chest. I had to laugh and cringe watching our birth video later--I was making all sorts of high pitched cooing noises with Francis' cries. I asked Dr. Crabtree if I tore and after a quick examination said, "Nothing more than a paper cut," which I attribute greatly to his doing perineum massage and just plain dumb luck. after they checked Francis over and cleaned up our room, the hospital staff bid us adieu, my mom and Brynn left for the night after snuggling the new babe, and Charlie and I were left to revel in being new parents all over again.

I'll write another post on Francis' night and first few days, mainly because I want to remember how much more confident and relaxed I felt enjoying our new son. when Lydia entered the world it was into a world of Mom worrying like all get out about breastfeeding and having a ton of pain from a significant tear, and both Mom and Dad being exhausted from being so scared throughout the labor process. I was up and showering a half hour after Francis was born, with no pain and a giddiness that was so so sweet. his birth was transformative, empowering, and just plain amazing. we accomplished our goals. we had an epic birth and a healthy baby--everything worked out perfectly. we felt so blessed drifting off to sleep that night, baby tucked in safe and sound with me. more later on the adventure of feeding a lazy little boy and coming home to one excited little girl :)

pheasant and farming

I made my first successful pheasant dish of the 2013 hunting season! last year my attempts at cooking that lean, bone-ridden bird were laughable. picture the Christmas turkey in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation and you'll be able to understand my plight with this fowl. I had tried roasting it in the oven, which dried it to the point of no return. cue the polite chewing and copious amounts of water.

well, that bird got conquered. by a CrockPot.

I rubbed the plucked and cleaned bird (after removing all little feathers, bird shot, etc.) down with coconut oil (almost 3 Tbsp, I greased him up well), then made my normal chicken rub of thyme, smoked paprika, garlic, sea salt, white pepper and onion powder and rubbed that [dry] over the bird before putting it on a bed of carrots, potatoes, onion and turnips (cut into 1" chunks) in the CrockPot. high for two hours, low for 4, and that bird came out just perfect.  Lydia ate some of the breast and a leg, plus veggies, bread with butter, and most of an acorn squash that I baked with butter, a sprinkle of salt, and brown sugar.

in other news, harvest has been kicking our butts this year. I really feel for my husband--when he comes home sore and exhausted from being on the farm all day (5am-12am some days!) all I want is to keep him home and in bed, waited on hand and foot for working so hard for our family. the amount of work he does in a day is incredible--from chopping silage to loading hogs, feeding cattle, making bales, running semi loads of corn to the elevator, etc...he doesn't quit moving for hours on end. makes me feel so...I don't know, like I could never match the amount of energy he puts into a day with what I do on my end. from one camp I suppose balancing two jobs and taking care of the house, Lydia and pets would seem like it requires so much energy (which it does)....but it's not the same. and I certainly wouldn't expect Charlie to get home from work and do anything but take a hot shower and cuddle in with Lydia if she's still awake. but this too shall pass, the corn and beans will come in, the fields will get plowed, the animals sent away, and another season shall start at the farm once this time is over. it's just a lot of hard work and emotional sacrifice right now--hard not seeing my husband in any other mode other than exhausted and sore.

however, it has been so nice to grab up Lydia from daycare, make a quick supper, and bring it out for a ride-along in the truck or tractor with him! I am learning so much from other farm wives as to the best ways to keep in touch with husbands who seemingly marry their tractors for a month.  those ride-alongs give us a chance to talk, and it gives Lydia time with her daddy, something I have noticed to be very affective in her little life. she misses her dad, and it becomes readily apparent at times via meltdowns or her simply vocalizing, "I need Daddy." this winter we'll have to make up for lost time and spend more time together doing fun things as a family...looking forward to the Christmas season to do so! I've been Pinteresting some ideas already, but the mature adult in me is petulantly waiting until after Thanksgiving to do any serious Christmas planning. :)

one of those days

today it's chilly and breezy.  Lydia and Charlie are napping, and I've just finished charting on two new clients. supper is in the crock-pot (Greek-seasoned zucchini, onion and celery tops with chicken, which I'll serve over orzo tonight with tzatziki). maybe after everyone wakes up we'll head out to the state park to go for a walk (Lydia loves her birthday bike, and our dog could stand to be out of his kennel!).

it's been a busy September, busier than any I remember. amazing how the days literally fly by.  a couple of cool things that happened:
first, our darling daughter turned 3. THREE. we had a little party for her at our house with family and friends, her godmother Brynn came to spend the night and they had a slumber party, and her daycare buddies shared in her birthday as well.  so many fun presents that reflect what she loves most these days...a Lorax puzzle/activity book, a new bike, a salamander (from Mama!), a beautiful owl purse, dollies, a Super Soaker, play outfits, and more. I woke her up the morning of her birthday with a raspberry butterbraid pastry, and we enjoyed it together as an early-morning treat. I cannot for the life of me think back to when she was tiny. she's so capable and wise, brave, funny and sweet; in short, becoming the person I saw inside her the day she was born (aaaaauuggghhh there go the tears!).

and secondly, in the middle of the month I stayed in the Twin Cities for a week, taking the Certified Lactation Specialist course.  it was an intense range of information being presented, from counseling skills to proper identification of nursing barriers/issues.  my coworker and I worked hard throughout the week learning as much as we could, spending time networking with other state/medical staff, and enjoying some time to ourselves (I did water aerobics and swam in the early mornings, which felt amazing). we both ended up passing the course and I can now place Katie Chapman, CLS on my business cards. proud to be able to better help the moms in our area with breastfeeding!

with Lydia being so busy, and work with both camp and WIC picking up, Charlie and I have really tried to put some focus on decluttering our home and lifestyle.  it feels so good to let go of things that we felt had been holding us back...clothes that no longer, and never will again, fit, baby items that found better homes, office supplies better used in friends' classrooms, furniture we weren't using and won't need, doubles of household items, you name it. out the door it went. because somehow, we have to have enough room in our home for the master bedroom, our office, Lydia's room, and a new nursery.

that's right.

Mama's having a baby in the spring.
and we couldn't be happier!

this pregnancy is different from the one I experienced with Lydia in a few ways:

I am tired. with Lydia I had energy all day, slept well, and felt like I could run marathons.  with this pregnancy I am not sleeping as well (restless legs and some insomnia issues), and I feel as though I have already run a marathon before my feet hit the floor in the morning.

I am experiencing some food aversions. two of my staples, hummus and coffee, are making me slightly queasy. eaten or drank at the right time is fine, but my stomach turns just thinking about them now. happiness is found these days in a cup of Meyer Lemon tea (Stash brand), coconut quinoa or millet, cinnamon, squash, eggs, yogurt, and other foods/beverages that seem easier on my tummy.

I am emotional. I experienced this with Lydia a little, and perhaps I was too busy to truly feel feelings and process them.  I find myself lamenting the loss of my baby daughter quite a bit, even though she's grown into such a beautiful little girl. I find myself tearing up at the silliest things--insurance commercials, diaper ads in magazines, pictures of nursing moms, you name it.

I am confident. THIS feels so good! I am not reading about all the things that can go wrong in pregnancy like I was with Lydia. I am trusting my body to grow a healthy baby and know what things I can do for myself to facilitate that...taking good prenatals, exercising, staying busy and active, resting when I need to, and trying to limit the amount of stress in our lives. I am confident in my choice of health care providers, and am comfortable bringing up my concerns in a way that communicates our beliefs on birth and breastfeeding while being respectful. 

in short, life is about to become much, much busier...but we can't wait. :)

on the regular

written at the Wooden Diamond Bed and Breakfast in Lake Benton last weekend...
I always hate coming back to something that I've neglected. it jabs a little when I realize that I've put off doing something that makes me happy, or feel good...like a run with the dog, or blogging about things I feel strongly about, or writing letters, or reading a book for pleasure...

so here I am. ready to think again.

things have been steady at our house, which is a very good thing. without going too much into detail, the summer has been a struggle in many ways. lots of stress from many different situations. how we've chosen to deal with said negativity leaves me proud, though. prayer is huge. so is just plain breathing. taking the time to work through emotions instead of neglecting their importance. reading literature that promotes growth in heart and soul. making new friends while letting some toxicity fall to the wayside. choosing to understand and reflect, instead of letting a reaction happen.

now things have changed up a bit. this morning I'm watching the way the wind picks up the lake, creating whitecaps that roll toward the shore. I'm listening to the rhythm of Charlie's sleepy breath, and musing over how we can be so different in that I can't bear to stay in bed once I'm awake, but he's happy to stay there all day. I'm thinking about how much fun Lydia must be having with her cousins, and how proud I am of her that she was a brave, strong, happy little girl throughout a summer of some tribulation. and I'm thinking about how much power our own thoughts, prayers, behaviors and actions truly have--where a word, a movement, a look, has the power to sway feelings and actions in others. before this summer I hadn't reflected on the way all of us wear our hearts so open and vulnerable, and how surrounding ourselves with people who motivate us and encourage us is so crucial in protecting our hearts. I think maybe I've tried to understand, but when it came to reflecting on my responsibilities in maintaining the health of my heart (and my partners'), everything came to a screeching halt.

to take care of others, we must...we must, we must! take care of ourselves first. it seems so selfish. to watch someone struggle, work, their heart breaking, their mind racing, and yet try to focus inward isn't common nature. in fact, it's quite possibly the worst feeling in the world... at first. then you realize that hey...I'm only responsible for my emotions. my reactions. my actions. my behaviors. my thoughts. my feelings. there's no way for any of us to be accountable for the hearts of others. it starts in us. asking ourselves the tough questions, facing our pasts, asking forgiveness, moving forward one day at a time. the changes come slowly, we are so hell-bent on making things more of a struggle than they need to be sometimes. but bit by bit the days get a little sunnier, conversations flow more easily, things that were a challenge at first become second nature.

change is tough, even if it's for the best.

and doing this without getting distracted! the enemy uses so many things--facebook, Pinterest, other people's situations that are way more intense, work, kids, and others to get in the way of learning and loving. fortunately we're finding we have so many people on our side...people who believe in love and the power of forgiveness. I find myself motivated by sunny people for so many reasons, namely because I feel that I have a lot to learn from those who take life by stride and believe in the good. I've unfollowed, unfriended, unbookmarked, unsubscribed, and untangled myself from people/pages/blogs that brought conflict to my soul. I'm learning to let go of things that remind me of negativity or keep me from who I want to be. decluttering my thoughts and actions. trying to get our house decluttered so we have room to move and breathe without feeling stifled--reading lots on how possessions, even keepsakes and whatnot, have a way of possessing us at times.

I hope that I'll be back with more musings on kid stuff, recipes, cleaning ideas, Pinterest projects, and heartfelt rants.  feels good to write again, here's to more sunshine in the days to come. :)

its GO time

feeding Lydia

"I can't get my kid to eat anything but junk food!"
"Somedays she'll eat a ton, then nothing for a few days...is that normal?"
"My kid ate my whole bag of kale chips."
"I'm exclusively breastfeeding, when should I start solids?"
"When can I start rice cereal? Do I have to?"
"I feel like my kid eats only peanut butter and bananas."

I hear it all at WIC. in our community. at the grocery store. anywhere there are little ones...
what do we feed our kids?

first off, I'm going to give a list of what Lydia ate/is eating at different stages of her life:
(all items in tables should be assumed eaten in following age stages as well as those listed)

0-4.5 months	4.5-6 months	6-12 months	12 months-present
Breastmilk	Breastmilk	Breastmilk	Breastmilk (til 20 months)
	Pizza Ranch Mashed Potatoes. Don't judge! :)	Green beans, spinach, celery (gummed it), broccoli, squash, zucchini, peppers, parsnips, turnips, rutabegas, potatoes, cucumbers (and pickles), pumpkin	Juice with breakfast, goats milk when my supply started dropping, and whole organic cow milk at 20 months, herbal tea
	Avocado	Eggs (yolk and whites), bison, chicken, beef, pork, catfish, panfish	Peanut butter toast, bowls of cereal
	Peaches, prunes, pears, applesauce, banana	Rice, couscous, hummus, beans, quinoa	Cheese-all varieties (favorite so far is goat cheese!), whole-fat yogurts
	Sweet potato, peas, carrots	Ground flax, wheat bran, baked goods (muffins, etc.)	Tacos/breakfast burritos/wraps, pizza, salads
	Rice cereal, oatmeal, mixed grain baby cereals	Cooked pasta, lentils	Dried fruit
		Tropical fruits (mango, papaya, pineapple), coconut and coconut milk	Nuts in baked goods, millet
		Sherbert and ice cream	Candy--loves peanut M&Ms
		Spices--cinnamon, etc.	Venison in any form
			Seafood--loves shrimp!

this isn't a perfect food schedule. the only thing pretty textbook about it is that Lyd breastfed exclusively for almost 5 months, and she continued to nurse in addition to solids til 20 months old.  otherwise feeding her was by the seat of our pants. we rarely followed the "try one and wait a week" method of trying new foods when she was an infant, mainly because we were so excited to feed her solids. side note--with subsequent children I will nurse exclusively much, much longer. starting solids after exclusive breastfeeding does begin the weaning process, no matter how you look at it.

now, the trained WIC breastfeeding counselor in me says, "foods before a year are for fun!" but the parent who has a very very eager and happy-to-try-anything-once baby begs to differ. one of the many cool things about breastfeeding is that babes get the flavors of what you eat through your milk, but in all of the foods listed above, check out the different textures, smells...so much for them to experience!

Feeding a toddler--now here is an experience. Lydia's been able to eat on her own since about 10 months old: scooping with a spoon, using a 'big girl' fork, cutting up soft things with a butter knife, spreading her own peanut butter or jam, pulling the end off a shrimp, drinking from a glass and eating ribs off the bone, etc. are all eating skills acquired in her short girlhood. Sometimes she'll go in jags, where she'll eat like a horse for three days, then literally nothing but water and fruit for one. Sometimes something she liked the day before is "yuckos!" today. There are many tried and true foods we know she'll eat, but we keep pushing the envelope and exposing her to new foods nonetheless.

Here are my family's guidelines for feeding a child at any age:
1. Nutrient-dense foods. A child should eat a rainbow of different foods in a day in order to ingest vital nutrients for optimal growth. We try to have something of each food group on her plate at every meal--good protein, veggies, fruit, and complex carbs. Hotdishes and other one-pot meals are great for this, which is why I love my crockpot so much. One favorite meal here is brown rice cooked in free-range organic chicken broth, with sweet potatoes and seasoned chicken thighs, steamed veggies or mashed cauliflower on the side, fruit salad, and milk. I will do a post later on our favorite family meals but this is just one example. We don't eat a lot of processed or non-nutritive food (think chips, crackers, jello, fruit snacks, etc.) here; obviously we're not exempt and she does get treats, but that's all they are--treats, with undefined guidelines as how to acquire them. Just by the grace of her parents ;)

2. As local and organic as possible. Farmers market. Local butcher. Wild game, preferably shot by Daddy. Buying local is smart economically, nutritionally, and environmentally. There are many reasons to buy organic foods. The USDA Organic label tells you that fruits and veggies weren't raised using manmade chemical pesticides, fossil fuel- or sewage-based fertilizers or genetically modified seeds. On meat, the label indicates that the feeds provided met those same standards, and that the animals weren't administered hormones and antibiotics. Bottom line: "Organic" is more sustainable and healthier -- for the environment and farm workers, certainly, and often for you and your family. How is organic healthier? It's healthier because some studies suggest that organic produce has more nutrients than its conventional counterparts, probably because the soil is left in better condition after repeated plantings, and healthier because you avoid ingesting any harmful pesticide residues left on conventional produce.

3. Enjoyable. Food should be fun! I make landscapes out of her food, cut sandwiches out with a cookie cutter, let her bake and cook with me, and we always try and sit together as a family to eat. We have picnics, go to potlucks, pancake breakfasts, restaurants, you name it. Making toddlers/children happy with food isn't too difficult. :)

There you have it--the ins and outs of feeding an almost-three year old. I'm excited to see what the future holds for us in terms of growing our own food and raising livestock, chickens, goats...There are so many aspects to a healthy lifestyle, and food is a massive part of what makes up our bodies, minds and hearts. Have fun!

kids in the kitchen

this may be a real shocker...
but I really. really. really. like to cook and bake.

it all started when I was but a wee Katie, tagging along behind my mom and dad in the kitchen. my mom with baking bread and buns, my dad with making pancakes, stuffed bell peppers, roasted chicken and potatoes...a large percentage of my upbringing was spent learning the ropes of making meals and goodies. Mom always let me stir in the yeast, and help her knead the dough (with a big spoonful of honey as a treat), and Dad taught to use my eye to watch for just enough bubbles on a pancake before flipping it. over the years, through high school and college, it became more of a hobby, then a controlled and happy obsession once we had a baby. Charlie and I both came to realize that what I was eating greatly affected her, both through breastfeeding and what kind of example we were setting for her as she grew.

baby trying celery..yum!

enter a Lydia who likes to eat good food, and we have a very fun and purposeful thing that we can do together.  cooking with a toddler in the kitchen sounds like a recipe for disaster (now there's a knee slapper!) but I actually enjoy it more than I thought possible. if you know me, you know that my patience level is somewhere between an angry velociraptor and nonexistent, so really...if it works for me, it can work for your kids too. cooking with Lydia is something I am grateful to do, namely because my capacity for putting out good meals for our family has increased tenfold with my career change. I now have time to make a menu, shop according to the ingredients needed, and cook a balanced meal for my family. plus more time for Pinterest and other sites for great recipes!

also--another post in the making because it's too incredible a subject to only give a paragraph--where our food comes from. Lydia's been such a lucky girl to tap maple trees for syrup, garden with her family, walk over in her jammies to the farmer's market across the street, eat food made with local ingredients at Grandma's cafe and our home.  teaching her that real, whole food comes from our hands and hard work instead of a Hamburger Helper box is a set of values we have always wanted to instill in her. another blogger highlighted Farmer Boy as an example of true connection to our food as both nourishment and love, and I strongly agree.

tapping trees with Mom and Dad

watering our weed patch garden

anyway.
so what does Lydia like to do when she's helping?
mostly stir and chop.
this kid know how to:
use a whisk
operate the Kitchen Aid
cut butter into flour with a fork
measure and pour liquid ingredients
measure dry ingredients (and to smooth flour over with a knife before dumping in)
scrape the extra batter out of the bowl
cut soft items with a knife--tiger claws, not duck bills, when we hold the food!

cooking holds so many lessons for children too--think of all the skills they develop while in the kitchen:
math skills--adding and subtracting, dividing batches, multiplying for bigger ones, measuring
names and shapes of ingredients
colors--we cook with a rainbow around here!
social grace--we make food for others, as a gift and offering of love
time together--because licking a beater with your mom is just awesome.

stirring the wet ingredients together

excited to get the baked deliciousness! -while eating extra chocolate chips-

nom nom noming on sweet potatoes

mornings here

lately mornings have been wonderful here.  I have time to wake up, write, have a cup of coffee, get laundry going, shower, and get ready for the day before my husband or toddler even stir. I am grateful for this time...as you may have noticed, I am a morning girl. it's always been my favorite time of day for many reasons.  I love bedhead, baking, blogging, checking the weather, peeping in on a sleeping Lydia, kissing my husband good morning, staying busy with picking up the house, laundry, playing fetch with a rambunctious black lab, and planning my day. although this does require waking at an hour some may find crazy, it fills my heart to be busy and have time to do good things for my family before we all go our separate ways.

mornings should smell like:
baby's breath (not the flower)
coffee, fresh roasted with a kiss of cinnamon stirred into the grounds
fresh air
laundry (soon it will be time to hang it out!)
baby jammies
and these fresh-baked muffins, warm from the oven:

(I'm really trying to resist the urge to call all of my morning recipes "Sunshine ______" but honestly, there's no better word to describe how these muffins taste and smell. I have a new favorite cookbook, super natural every day by Heidi Swanson, that uses all vegan or vegetarian ingredients; some I have had in my pantry for quite some time, so it's great to use them! she is a breath of fresh air to any recipe with a sweet description and careful attention to her ingredients, time and stunning food photography.)

Sunshine Muffins
adapted from super natural every day, by Heidi Swanson

2 1/2 c. whole wheat flour
1/3 c. raw millet
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. fine-grain sea salt
1 c. plain yogurt
2 eggs, lightly beaten
1/2 c. unsalted butter, barely melted
1/2 c. honey
1 tsp. pure vanilla extract
grated zest and 2 tbsp. juice from one lemon
3/4 c. chopped fresh strawberries

preheat the oven to 375F--rack right in the middle
line muffin tins with paper or grease with butter (I used large tins, 6 muffins apiece)
whisk together flour, millet, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in a large bowl
whisk together yogurt, eggs, butter, honey, and lemon zest/juice till smooth in a smaller bowl
add wet ingredients to dry and stir till dry ingredients are just incorporated with the wet
divide batter among muffin cups--spoon batter in, it will be thick
bake for about 15 minutes, until muffin tops are browned and just barely beginning to crack
let cool for 5 minutes in the pan, then turn them out on a rack to cool completely.

mmmmm.

sunshine millet

once in a while I stumble on a good idea. this was a good idea.

we've had a bag of organic millet shoved in the back of my baking cupboard for too long.  I found it last night while going through our pantry trying to come up with a menu for March (more on that later). with the cold temperatures I've been making overnight steel-cut oats with dried fruit and milk for breakfast, but something told me millet was going to be my grain of choice this morning.

well, now that I've made it, I think we'll keep millet as a staple, and not an extra, in the pantry. my goodness, this is just delicious. and it makes your house smell toasty and cozy. there are a couple pots involved so it's not a really quick-and-easy meal, but if you're like me and you have a couple hours from when you wake up til when you need to hit the road, then it's fine.

sunshine millet, adapted from every millet recipe I found on Pinterest:
1 tbsp coconut oil
1 c. millet, rinsed well
2 c. water
1 can unsweetened non-lite coconut milk (I used Thai Kitchen Organic)
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. nutmeg
1 tsp. pure vanilla extract
2 bananas, mashed
1 tbsp. chia seeds
2 tbsp. honey

in a medium pot toast millet in coconut oil over med-low heat until grains smell nutty and they become slightly tan.
slowly add 2 c. water to the toasted millet. bring to boil over medium heat, reduce to low, simmer for 10-15 minutes until all liquid is absorbed.

while millet is cooking:
in a small pot, stir together coconut milk, spices, mashed banana, honey, and chia seeds. warm over low heat until incorporated and smelling heavenly. 

add the remaining ingredients to the cooked millet and simmer over low heat until it reaches desired thickness.  
take off heat and serve.

let me know if you vary this recipe in any way...this is delicious, kid-friendly, and healthy!

a new journey

not everyone can say they work at the place that inspired them when they were five years old...but I can.
not everyone can say their career has come full circle to include the job they've always dreamed of doing...but I can.

welcome to my new office:

just last week I accepted the position of Director of Environmental Education at Shetek Lutheran Ministries.  happy beyond words to take our lives on a direction of better hours, more time with the ones who sustain me daily, working in faith and love on a team of wonderful people, leading and learning through guided environmental activities...the ways that this new journey will create more opportunities for growth in our family are endless.

putting my two-week's notice in at Prairie View was tough.  like I told my co-workers, I wish I were leaving on bad terms so it'd be easier to let go of the memories and relationships I have had the pleasure of building over the last two years. I will miss everyone with a heavy heart. my life will be different not knowing how the consumers are doing on a daily basis.  though the hours were impossibly difficult to feel good about with a little one at home, it truly was a wonderful place to work and I enjoyed my tenure there.

for lack of a better way to put it, I am taking a substantial pay cut...this is not a choice for the money!  but with Charlie having a new position in a field [ha, punny] that he likes with way more paid hours than his previous job, we'll do alright.  the sacrifices he's made to make happiness for all of us a reality are innumerable, and appreciated beyond words...even though he comes home smelling like high heaven, the feelings of having been hard at work and productive are evident from the tired smile on his handsome face...ooh goodness, I love me some Charlie! 

with this new journey we have hope and faith in many things: maybe having another baby soon, more peace to our home with more time on meals and homekeeping, not so many irons in the fire, not so many late nights and weekends away from my home and family.  I am so grateful for the turning of our path in this direction--each day gets better, sunnier, happier!

Charlie and I spent the weekend nestled in with five other couples on a marriage retreat.  we learned about our marriage in many ways: things we're doing right, things we can work on, new ideas to be more closely connected.  with the teachings from Andy Stanley and the ensuing discussion we became excited to talk more about our relationship and especially the example we're setting for Lydia for creating her own relationships. fast learning that loving marriages require making love a verb! kind of tongue in cheek, but so true in that we choose to love our partner every day in our actions and words...respecting, believing the best, loving, and empowering are all verbs we use every day!

and I went for a nice, long ski with another couple...it felt great then, but I woke up with Jell-O legs! my skis are stashed at camp for another impromptu session when the winter weather warms up just a bit.  hard to ski out on the ice when it's so blasted cold!