one of those days

today it's chilly and breezy.  Lydia and Charlie are napping, and I've just finished charting on two new clients. supper is in the crock-pot (Greek-seasoned zucchini, onion and celery tops with chicken, which I'll serve over orzo tonight with tzatziki). maybe after everyone wakes up we'll head out to the state park to go for a walk (Lydia loves her birthday bike, and our dog could stand to be out of his kennel!).

it's been a busy September, busier than any I remember. amazing how the days literally fly by.  a couple of cool things that happened:
first, our darling daughter turned 3. THREE. we had a little party for her at our house with family and friends, her godmother Brynn came to spend the night and they had a slumber party, and her daycare buddies shared in her birthday as well.  so many fun presents that reflect what she loves most these days...a Lorax puzzle/activity book, a new bike, a salamander (from Mama!), a beautiful owl purse, dollies, a Super Soaker, play outfits, and more. I woke her up the morning of her birthday with a raspberry butterbraid pastry, and we enjoyed it together as an early-morning treat. I cannot for the life of me think back to when she was tiny. she's so capable and wise, brave, funny and sweet; in short, becoming the person I saw inside her the day she was born (aaaaauuggghhh there go the tears!).

and secondly, in the middle of the month I stayed in the Twin Cities for a week, taking the Certified Lactation Specialist course.  it was an intense range of information being presented, from counseling skills to proper identification of nursing barriers/issues.  my coworker and I worked hard throughout the week learning as much as we could, spending time networking with other state/medical staff, and enjoying some time to ourselves (I did water aerobics and swam in the early mornings, which felt amazing). we both ended up passing the course and I can now place Katie Chapman, CLS on my business cards. proud to be able to better help the moms in our area with breastfeeding!

with Lydia being so busy, and work with both camp and WIC picking up, Charlie and I have really tried to put some focus on decluttering our home and lifestyle.  it feels so good to let go of things that we felt had been holding us back...clothes that no longer, and never will again, fit, baby items that found better homes, office supplies better used in friends' classrooms, furniture we weren't using and won't need, doubles of household items, you name it. out the door it went. because somehow, we have to have enough room in our home for the master bedroom, our office, Lydia's room, and a new nursery.

that's right.

Mama's having a baby in the spring.
and we couldn't be happier!

this pregnancy is different from the one I experienced with Lydia in a few ways:

I am tired. with Lydia I had energy all day, slept well, and felt like I could run marathons.  with this pregnancy I am not sleeping as well (restless legs and some insomnia issues), and I feel as though I have already run a marathon before my feet hit the floor in the morning.

I am experiencing some food aversions. two of my staples, hummus and coffee, are making me slightly queasy. eaten or drank at the right time is fine, but my stomach turns just thinking about them now. happiness is found these days in a cup of Meyer Lemon tea (Stash brand), coconut quinoa or millet, cinnamon, squash, eggs, yogurt, and other foods/beverages that seem easier on my tummy.

I am emotional. I experienced this with Lydia a little, and perhaps I was too busy to truly feel feelings and process them.  I find myself lamenting the loss of my baby daughter quite a bit, even though she's grown into such a beautiful little girl. I find myself tearing up at the silliest things--insurance commercials, diaper ads in magazines, pictures of nursing moms, you name it.

I am confident. THIS feels so good! I am not reading about all the things that can go wrong in pregnancy like I was with Lydia. I am trusting my body to grow a healthy baby and know what things I can do for myself to facilitate that...taking good prenatals, exercising, staying busy and active, resting when I need to, and trying to limit the amount of stress in our lives. I am confident in my choice of health care providers, and am comfortable bringing up my concerns in a way that communicates our beliefs on birth and breastfeeding while being respectful. 

in short, life is about to become much, much busier...but we can't wait. :)

a photo journal of some summer love

Lydia and her little buddy Evelia

Making Mommy a beautiful painting

All done! Mother's Day surprise a success!

going fishing

Lydia and her 'best fwend' Uncle Tom

the proud gang

though we're still unsure...

this one was delicious!

Wood Duck Days

Lydia and her very special friend

cousin love! yay Baby August!

too cool for school

pretty as posies

pontoon ride!

my breastfeeding booth at the Murray County Fair!

everyone loves a parade!

excited to ride the roller coaster!

shucking corn with Grandma and Great Uncle Derald

big hugs for Rocky

an heirloom tomato for our farm girl!

this kid loves tomatoes beyond belief...

and blackberries!

she's our peanut pie! almost three!!

a new journey

not everyone can say they work at the place that inspired them when they were five years old...but I can.
not everyone can say their career has come full circle to include the job they've always dreamed of doing...but I can.

welcome to my new office:

just last week I accepted the position of Director of Environmental Education at Shetek Lutheran Ministries.  happy beyond words to take our lives on a direction of better hours, more time with the ones who sustain me daily, working in faith and love on a team of wonderful people, leading and learning through guided environmental activities...the ways that this new journey will create more opportunities for growth in our family are endless.

putting my two-week's notice in at Prairie View was tough.  like I told my co-workers, I wish I were leaving on bad terms so it'd be easier to let go of the memories and relationships I have had the pleasure of building over the last two years. I will miss everyone with a heavy heart. my life will be different not knowing how the consumers are doing on a daily basis.  though the hours were impossibly difficult to feel good about with a little one at home, it truly was a wonderful place to work and I enjoyed my tenure there.

for lack of a better way to put it, I am taking a substantial pay cut...this is not a choice for the money!  but with Charlie having a new position in a field [ha, punny] that he likes with way more paid hours than his previous job, we'll do alright.  the sacrifices he's made to make happiness for all of us a reality are innumerable, and appreciated beyond words...even though he comes home smelling like high heaven, the feelings of having been hard at work and productive are evident from the tired smile on his handsome face...ooh goodness, I love me some Charlie! 

with this new journey we have hope and faith in many things: maybe having another baby soon, more peace to our home with more time on meals and homekeeping, not so many irons in the fire, not so many late nights and weekends away from my home and family.  I am so grateful for the turning of our path in this direction--each day gets better, sunnier, happier!

Charlie and I spent the weekend nestled in with five other couples on a marriage retreat.  we learned about our marriage in many ways: things we're doing right, things we can work on, new ideas to be more closely connected.  with the teachings from Andy Stanley and the ensuing discussion we became excited to talk more about our relationship and especially the example we're setting for Lydia for creating her own relationships. fast learning that loving marriages require making love a verb! kind of tongue in cheek, but so true in that we choose to love our partner every day in our actions and words...respecting, believing the best, loving, and empowering are all verbs we use every day!

and I went for a nice, long ski with another couple...it felt great then, but I woke up with Jell-O legs! my skis are stashed at camp for another impromptu session when the winter weather warms up just a bit.  hard to ski out on the ice when it's so blasted cold!

january roses and thorns

as explained earlier in my blog, when I was growing up we went to Shetek Lutheran Ministries for summer camp.  one of my favorite sharing activities took place at Candlepower, a time for reflection at the end of the day.  sometimes your very cool counselor hosted the special time out under the stars, other times in the coziness of our log cabins.  one candle was lit, and suddenly everyone became the same, focusing inward and staying still.  the counselor would begin with prayer, bringing our day to a peaceful close, and we were then invited to share, one by one, our roses and thorns for the day.  a rose was a good thing, a thorn a challenge.  I have since learned that you can have buds as well, things you are working on that could possibly go either way.  please, I invite you to join me for Candlepower this evening and lend me your roses, buds and thorns.

roses:
--today I made a woman, a struggling and tired woman, laugh.  it wasn't much, but this poor overworked mom needed a giggle, and I was happy to oblige with a sassy joke about angry and nipples being two words you never hear in the same sentence...unless you're a breastfeeding counselor [this woman does indeed have angry nipples, and is finally at the point where it's honestly just funny--too tired to do anything but laugh].
--today was a very positive work day for the "boob lady". so much to accomplish in my day, but I went home today feeling capable, happy, and affirmed that I am doing a good job for an agency near and dear to my heart.

buds:
--today I found out that there are more possibilities in my career opening up than I ever thought possible; God provides and we are prepared to take some small risks to discover more about these opportunities.  I am so lucky to have places of employment that I love and that help to support our little family...time to work on a more family-friendly schedule, now.
--today I made the fatal mistake of texting my husband a picture of a dog that is up for adoption, and now I have to follow up and surprise him with a visit to see the little guy.

thorns:
--today I found out that we have so much work to do.  hospitals handing out FALSE information and misleading verbage to pregnant mothers about breastfeeding.  it's not even a challenge, it is a life commitment to fighting the awful, awful people who dare to lead women down that dark road of losing their goals of breastfeeding their babies.  telling mothers blatant lies to make a buck, sending formula samples to grandparents, publishing breastfeeding books with every intention to sell mothers formula in the long run.  building a breastfeeding coalition will not make the offending American Association of Obstetrics and Gynecology give way in their pursuits of refusal to help moms breastfeed, but it's a start. a start that is small, and woefully insignificant in a national scope now, but a start nonetheless.
--today I forgot/didn't know/lost somehow that my husband and I had plans tonight after work, so now we're 45 miles apart and we don't get as much family time tonight.  I hate losing out on time with him and Lydia, I love them so.

thanks for sharing today!

family and friendship

this is sad.  amazingly sad.

in the first two weeks of the new year, I've almost spent more time with friends and family than I did in the entirety of 2012.

this year will be different, and so much more fulfilling.
last year we got lost in work, and wedding planning, and trying to fill 40 roles instead of focusing on our family and health.  we chose to put friendship on the back burner for a number of reasons, the most prominent [and legit] being lack of time for anything but our little family, when we did have time off.

this year will be different.
so far: we've had two of my best friends in the world spend weekends with us.  Brynn and Anne have both brought incredible light to our home. it was so sweet to bake and break fresh bread, drink tea, and have Lydia so happy to have two 'best aunties' here with us. Brynn and I went to a Pinterest party with some new friends of mine, grocery shopped at the Chandler store, held baby lambs and petted friendly horses at Charlie's buddy's farm, and visited with my inlaws. we also spent the afternoon with my aunt and uncle out by Cottonwood after church.  Sunday dinner is so much better with more people and their stories! and Anne came and we baked artisan bread, shared it warm and liberally covered with goat cheese, and talked long into the night over wine about our awesome friendship over the years. 

tonight, while rocking Lydia, she murmured sleepily about how much fun she had bonking around with our pals. it is so good for her to grow up having company, knowing she has so many people in her life who love her very much.  she's getting to the age where she recognizes her village, and is able to express who she wants to connect with.  she'll ask to call her godparents in Las Vegas, or one of her three sets of grandparents, and she loves going out for visits to loved ones.

I think a big new-marriage mistake we've been hearing about is trying to be everything for each other--sounding boards, lovers, co-parents, organizers, therapists, personal trainers, housekeepers, you name it...it's not fair to either of us to expect that much from one person.  enter friendship, where we can give and receive good feelings and trust our hearts to people other than each other. even parenting--Anne and Brynn both helped with Lydia so much and she loved having them rock her to sleep, read to her, bathe her, and just plain talk to her. we love knowing that we can trust our friends to love our baby as much as we do [and we love our friends' kids deeply as well].

hopefully this year will hold massive changes--we hope to increase our family size, switch careers to be more family-friendly, pay down some debt, and stay sane in the process.  friendships--our solid, strong, wonderful friendships--bring us light and strength through this! and we can cook for our friends, go visiting, and with any luck bring big love with us for them too.  here's to more time shared with those we care about...it makes us so flipping happy. : )

little memories from this fall/winter

Lydia at our wedding

our beautiful little owlet

Lydia and Joyce, a favorite pal from Prairie View

farming with Dad. loves her tractor rides!

this kid loves Perkins

our evening Christmas house

she's a beaut this year!

"the stockings were hung on the ladder with care..."

giving thanks

so many mornings I've left a sleeping husband, tiptoed past the sleeping baby's room, and made myself a cup of coffee--coffee in hand, reading blogs, checking Facebook, seeing what's on the news.  today is no exception.  I'm not a snuggler, nor a sleeper-inner like my husband, so the mornings where I don't have to be to work early are deliciously my own.

today is a day about giving thanks, about American history, about the Pilgrim way, about turkey and cornbread stuffing and cranberries.  it's about the Thanksgiving brunch we'll be enjoying with my mom's family, then the dinner to follow with Charlie's side.  it's about community, it's about my sleepy coworkers leaving their families to bring equally sleepy residents to the breakfast table, and Bev scrambling to make pureed turkey and Thanksgiving treats for the folks at Prairie View. 

it's about remembering why we get up in the morning.
it's about being mindful of our call in faith and freedom to live thankfully and in grace.

today I mindfully compose a small thankfulness list, things I am grateful for every day that may go past the wayside when caught up in the rush of life, things that make my heart sing:
--my incredible family, the Chapmans and Freemans and Matsons, and the many ways they support and encourage Charlie and I to be better partners and parents.  through texts, visits, phone calls, surprise dishwasher emptyings, free childcare, cups of tea together and more, we are shown love by our families every day.
--for friendships that go beyond time and distance.  I love being able to pick up the phone and reconnect instantly with the people I love, knowing they feel the same way.
--for friendships of that wonderful small-town nature, reminding me where I grew up.  I love seeing the coffee girls at my mom's cafe, the people who check in with Lydia and me at the grocery store, people I have known of my whole life asking to see wedding pictures, that love/attention from our community makes me smile.
--good food for our family, and the time and money to nourish our bodies.  I am grateful that I can put a healthy, home-cooked meal on our table for most meals.
--my places of employment--they have truly made me a better person each day I go to work.  I never thought I'd enter the realm of social services, but now that I'm here I can't picture leaving.

a simple list, I could add so much more...what are you thankful for today and every day?

monday musings

so it's a beautiful Monday outside.  in a little bit I'll go get Lydia from daycare [I've been working at home today] and we'll bake a delicious cornbread to have with our vegan chili tonight. Chuck is having a good day at work, and I am sure Lydia's been happy, bonking around with her little buddies. we'll take the slow way home, walking hand in hand. it feels so sweet to have her little hand in mine.

fall is here.  the nights are cool, the mornings require a sweater, and the days are getting shorter.  I sat with my coffee around 7am waiting for the sun to peek up; it doesn't seem so long ago that the days began much earlier. maybe it's just me, but these transitions between seasons are so beautiful.  there is nothing better than that nip in the air signifying change.

Chuck and I have been muttering over what we will do to stay active this winter: home projects, ice fishing, who knows.  we didn't have much of a home rhythm this summer. I had wanted to at least have certain days for certain activities, but I didn't commit to it, and honestly, sometimes the laundry needs to be done Tuesday instead of Sunday.  if I were a 100% SAHM it might be a different story, but this is not the case. we are still working on streamlining [both our home and our figures, more on that later] and for now that seems to be working ok.  extra books have found homes on friends' shelves and our local bookstore.  Lydia's little clothes have worked their way out of her drawers and into those of friends (and siblings!!!) having babies. anytime Chuck or I have clothes that are too loose, out they go-sayanara, I won't need you anymore! home decor gets swap-spotted...bit by bit our home is becoming clearer.

we had a wonderful summer, a beautiful wedding, and now my baby will be two on Thursday.  Lydia has seen the seasons come and go for two years. she is my growing, stoic, observant, keenly fair, and sometimes goofy little girl. we never dreamed we could have a child like her.  she is beyond dreamable, she puts the wind in our sails every day, be better be better be better.

isn't that the way life works? always dreaming, learning, planning, growing.

roses and thorns

at camp when I was growing up, we had devotional time to talk out our feelings and ideas on what living life was all about. one poignant part of the discussion was always your roses and thorns--the highs and lows of life, and sharing them was always fulfilling. it was so interesting to hear what other kids/young adults, even my counselors, were struggling with; sometimes their challenges were the same as mine, sometimes I couldn't believe that a thorn of theirs was a rose of mine, or vice versa.

today I'm going to quickly share some roses and thorns, because it's been a long, hard week. had some good talks with old friends and new ones, tried my best to see the light in every day, but maybe one of my thorns is someone's rose, and you, dear reader, can possibly shed some rosy light on my troubles. Or...vice versa.

roses:
-my mom is getting married today, and I feel so proud and happy for her and Brian.
-I made some incredible new connections this week, and pushed my emotional boundaries of seeing how far I can take my love without losing myself or my strength in the process
-little steps are being made in the realm of becoming healthier for my family every day
-I have loved the weather this week. the gray brings the thoughts for me, and I love a good tunder-boomer, doncha know

thorns:
-the challenges of thoughtful and intentional parenting are putting me through the wringer--have been praying over this for some time now, wondering how I can be the mother and model for Lydia that I've always wanted to be while trying to balance everything else
-this week was emotionally trying, and I feel as though I have failed people who were depending on me in various ways, from simply not returning a phone call to making difficult decisions with a family regarding the health of their babies
-I am feeling less than strong, in willpower and love this week, and could definitely stand to be more mindful of my impatience with myself

what are your roses and thorns? do they echo mine this week? what can you bring to the campfire to share?

do you need a rhythm?

a question I've been asking myself for quite some time now: do we need a rhythm?
remember that old adage?
monday: wash day
tuesday: ironing day
wednesday: sewing day
thursday: market day
friday: cleaning day
saturday: baking day
sunday: day of rest

I've been wanting to instill something like this for so long in our home, and like with many other projects I've begun and let slide, this too has fallen to the wayside.  it can't anymore--we are all feeling the lack of consistency in our lives here, and I feel now more than ever would be a good time to begin separating my days into manageable portions of productivity.  adding this to an already horrendous work schedule will be tricky, but it has to be better than trying to cram in forty bazillion items on a to-do list with no structure or rhythm, just a mad dash to get as much done as possible in a day.

can working parents with crazy work schedules have rhythm to their days? can we dilute the most basic, simple needs for each day from the chaos of running here, running there, throw a load of laundry in and forget it till tomorrow, and use those needs to put a single purpose to our day? laundry, today is a laundry day.  cooking, today is where I will put together meals for our family that we can throw in the oven later. baking, today is the day to bake bread and cookies and have Lydia help with the flour because it's the messiest.  I can't sew, or iron for that matter, but I certainly can put together lists for a market day.  or get input from my family on what days work best for laundry, housecleaning, etc. how would you break down your days of the week, busy one?

I reorganized the linen closet and cleaned our bedroom today; the dishwasher and laundry still need to be taken care of.  Lydia is home sick from daycare today.  She will wake from her nap soon, and there will go my productivity, because she'll need to be held, and nursed, and loved, something that my grateful heart will soar for doing.  the thought of staying home with her and letting Charlie work and provide goes through my mind daily, but between us there are too many bills, too many what-ifs to let one income provide for our home.  so, we both work, and we both do the best we can.  maybe someday we can reassign priorities and live more simply.  but today, I have a sick baby and a dishwasher.

finding a rhythm--will need this soon.

today I have a lengthy to-do list that isn't quite so intimidating:

feed the cat (hey, you have to start somewhere)

make homemade applesauce (yeeees, didn't get done yesterday)

catch up on laundry

sort out Lydia's outgrown clothes and package for Goodwill/Jo Mama's Closet

start planning the layout for our garden plot and create a Pinterest board for seeds/design

email our wedding invite list to my mom and Chuck's mom for review

go to Read It Again Books and purchase books for the kids' book drive

organize office closets

there's more to do around here (always more to do) but the more projects I tick off my list, the better I feel.  icy, slushy, icky days make for productivity in the home, otherwise I'd be climbing the walls.  we can tell that Lydia is readjusting to the home life from a crazy weekend getaway, and that she'd love to play outside...hopefully soon the weather will cooperate so we can send her out to dig tunnels and walk down the street to see the neighbors' doggy.

I have my office almost completely organized.  there are two projects left; sanding/painting the bookshelves made by my grandfather and stained an abysmally hard-to-match-to-anything color, and finding a new desk.  when we were in Okoboji this weekend I spotted a little treasure that would have been perfect, but I'm waiting to sell my other one before making a purchase.  in the event that we don't end up getting the acreage, this home needs to fit our lifestyle until we find another property that interests us.  I can't be present in a constant state of transition: my recurring theme for 2012 is here is where we are now.  slowly we are learning to be more intentional about our actions and thoughts at home.  deliberate living, where my days hold productivity and love, is my goal.

mornings in our house

first, coffee.  preferably, and usually, from my mom's coffee shop uptown. mmm.

then, online. reading the news, catching the latest pins on Pinterest, what's up Facebook?

make my to-do list. it ends up being much too long and I get overwhelmed before tackling anything on it.

Lydia wakes up, she's wet and a little cranky, but can be brought to smiles with a clean diaper, and some scrambled eggs and avocados.

Chuck may or may not be out of bed by this point; he gets up with her when I'm at work, so it's only fair that he sleeps in a little. we breakfast together with Lydia, who by this point has fed the rest of her eggs to a very happy kitten.

discuss the day with Chuck. what should we plan on doing (do not mention half-hearted to do list). build a much more feasible day plan over another cup of coffee.

Lydia becomes bored with our list-making, so she gets down from the breakfast table and chases after the aforementioned kitten.

the mail guy gets here and I briefly look through my new Real Simple magazine.

laundry gets started, dishes run through the dishwasher, the house remains in a state of chaos since Lyd takes two toys out for every one we put away. make a mental note to donate/put away more toys.

start five different projects: organize my wedding decorations, create a new board on Pinterest, clean out a closet, scrub the stovetop, and sweep the fridge for old food. all end up being half-done. Chuck helps around the house and keeps Lydia distracted.

time for lunch with Lydia!

how do your mornings usually go?

even though we have a routine, I always come back to wanting to streamline and simplify more and more agenda items in our day.  I've thought about doing Monday laundry, Tuesday baking, Wednesday windows...or whatever order fits and makes sense, but I never stick to it. looking forward to having a more consistent rhythm that we can ease into each day!

mmm

today I had an urge to make something I'd never tackled before in the kitchen: pickled veggies.  sounds simple...and it was.  the recipe I used was from a cookbook I bought in Jamaica in 2007.  down there they call them escoveitch vegetables, and I remember drooling over their zesty, tangy presence at every meal.  I plan on pairing them tomorrow night with curried lentils and chicken.

for this first time I stuck to the recipe offered in the cookbook. now that I've done a little research online and found that people make these refrigerator goodies with varied veggies like beets and celery, I'll diversify my following ventures.

escoveitch veggies

from Eat Caribbean, by Virginia Burke

2 1/2 c. vinegar (I used distilled white, but look forward to trying others, especially Mrs. Bragg's apple cider vinegar)

2 carrots, cut julienne

1 med. yellow onion, cut in thin slices

1-3 hot peppers (I used 1/4 c. sliced pickled hot peppers per batch)

2 tbsp. allspice berries

3 garlic cloves, minced

pinch of salt

heat all ingredients on medium heat in a non-reactive saucepan on the stove until veggies are just wilted. take off heat, spoon veggies into quart Mason jars, and pour vinegar/spices over them.  you can either seal them in a hot water bath and officially can them, or you can seal them with a ring/lid, let them cool, and put them in the fridge!

my big helper

voila

tomorrow holds another morning serving the southwest MN pregnant/breastfeeding community at work, then coming home to my darlings for an afternoon of creative organizing and thoughtful food preparation.  we are learning how to take time on the things that matter most.  streamlining my home, getting rid of our non-necessities and organizing our must-haves, has helped so much.  there is a new consignment store downtown, and it now holds a big bag of Lydia's gently used clothing and shoes. I've been getting ridiculously good at letting go of possessions that held no purpose, only status, in our home. with each closet organized, each shelf relieved of a stack of books or knickknacks, my heart soars a little more...this simplifying is so freeing!

good morning! so begins a new saga of family blogging.

seems like we've been spinning our wheels lately, trying to get a sense of direction and purpose.  we've been ignoring the day to day moments where we can focus, and make something that's part of our normal daily better.  in missing these opportunities we lose steam and motivation, which are two things we very much need in a house with a kitten and an almost-18 month old!

this is us

this blog will be all-inclusive.  we won't rule anything out.  you may find (okay, you're sure to find) posts on food, real and delicious food. cleaning and organizing ideas.  Pinterest and the treasures Kate finds on there. wedding stuff. breastfeeding. treats for Lydia Grace. home projects and dreams of ours.

we welcome you to our life!