Saturday, March 9, 2013

tonight

tonight is one of those nights.  you know what I'm talking about.  my husband's away for the night, the baby's asleep, the wind is howling...a winter night, late and full of thought.

and by thought, I mean chest-pressing, heart-filling emotion.

I haven't been able to think lately, for all the thick emotion inside my heart.

my heart has swelled to bursting these last few days. what with my new career, incredible marriage, a strong relationship with my daughter, my brother and sister-in-law bringing my nephew into the world, more time with the friends I love, planning on a new addition to our family very soon...I have to wonder, how much love can this heart of mine hold?

my love is so strong these days. I get weepy with how strongly I feel warmth and good energy from those around me, from my home, from my environment.

of course, it's not all roses. there's student loans, bills, dog hair everywhere, other issues that threaten to stifle how capable and grateful I feel. I'm learning to deal with, or block, inhibitors to bliss.

what stops you from feeling complete joy?
who motivates you to find it?

I hope this lump in my throat never goes away. it means I feel something truly tremendous--this huge love that has found its way into every wrinkle of my being. we used to laugh with one of my former supervisors for becoming emotional during the more personal parts of our staff training--never did I think I'd wear my heart on my sleeve as she does.

and I wear it proudly. what a blessing to have found joy.




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