serene. rejuvenating. healing. spacious. peaceful. tranquil. purposeful. mindful. powerful. incredible. amazing. empowering. brave. scary. quiet. beautiful. sweet. calm. intentional. loving....
the list could go on and on.
|calm in between pushes|
well, open mouth, insert foot. because that's not what happened at all.
what happened was me shrieking, then opera singing with how painful the contractions were.
what happened was that I lost all consciousness of rational thought.
what happened was I panicked with the pain, instead of working with it.
what happened was my feeling sick with the pain and wondering if I could make it through.
what happened was the bath sucked. it was too hot and made me nauseous.
what happened was the feeling of being touched made me cringe.
what happened was that, when I was at about an 8-9, they broke my water and my contractions went into overdrive.
what happened was that I found out that peaceful birth isn't my schtick.
my adjectives went from anything peaceful to those more along the lines of football training or marathon running. let's face it--I am not generally a quiet, peaceful person...so why was I expecting to magically have a quiet, peaceful birth?
our birth went decidedly faster once my husband and I got a moment to ourselves, rallied, and clung to each other (he was as scared as I was but much more in adrenaline mode) chanting, "we can do this" over and over. it worked when I got more purposeful with my movements, began feeling my body by not relaxing and letting the contractions go through me, but powering through them instead. birth happened when we took charge, and went in with more of an athletic mindset than a peaceful one. it happened when I committed.
basically, I switched from yoga to P90X in a matter of two centimeters.
and that's when the magic happened.
|rallying with some strong pushing|
|what labor? ;)|