Sunday, January 13, 2013

family and friendship

this is sad.  amazingly sad.

in the first two weeks of the new year, I've almost spent more time with friends and family than I did in the entirety of 2012.

this year will be different, and so much more fulfilling.
last year we got lost in work, and wedding planning, and trying to fill 40 roles instead of focusing on our family and health.  we chose to put friendship on the back burner for a number of reasons, the most prominent [and legit] being lack of time for anything but our little family, when we did have time off.

this year will be different.
so far: we've had two of my best friends in the world spend weekends with us.  Brynn and Anne have both brought incredible light to our home. it was so sweet to bake and break fresh bread, drink tea, and have Lydia so happy to have two 'best aunties' here with us. Brynn and I went to a Pinterest party with some new friends of mine, grocery shopped at the Chandler store, held baby lambs and petted friendly horses at Charlie's buddy's farm, and visited with my inlaws. we also spent the afternoon with my aunt and uncle out by Cottonwood after church.  Sunday dinner is so much better with more people and their stories! and Anne came and we baked artisan bread, shared it warm and liberally covered with goat cheese, and talked long into the night over wine about our awesome friendship over the years. 

tonight, while rocking Lydia, she murmured sleepily about how much fun she had bonking around with our pals. it is so good for her to grow up having company, knowing she has so many people in her life who love her very much.  she's getting to the age where she recognizes her village, and is able to express who she wants to connect with.  she'll ask to call her godparents in Las Vegas, or one of her three sets of grandparents, and she loves going out for visits to loved ones.

I think a big new-marriage mistake we've been hearing about is trying to be everything for each other--sounding boards, lovers, co-parents, organizers, therapists, personal trainers, housekeepers, you name's not fair to either of us to expect that much from one person.  enter friendship, where we can give and receive good feelings and trust our hearts to people other than each other. even parenting--Anne and Brynn both helped with Lydia so much and she loved having them rock her to sleep, read to her, bathe her, and just plain talk to her. we love knowing that we can trust our friends to love our baby as much as we do [and we love our friends' kids deeply as well].

hopefully this year will hold massive changes--we hope to increase our family size, switch careers to be more family-friendly, pay down some debt, and stay sane in the process.  friendships--our solid, strong, wonderful friendships--bring us light and strength through this! and we can cook for our friends, go visiting, and with any luck bring big love with us for them too.  here's to more time shared with those we care makes us so flipping happy. : )

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